Gluten-free me, Korea.

Well I've been stumbling around the streets of Seoul for the last 12 months, sometimes giddy with excitement that I've returned to the land of my birth, and sometimes ridden with fatigue, muscle aches, and indigestion due to my intolerance for gluten, all depending on what I've eaten that particular week. Gluten, you may ask? What the hell is that? For those lucky enough not to care about this tiny little protein, it is the bane of my existence that is found in wheat, barley, and rye. If I do eat wheat, I usually feel sick for about two or three days, depending on my intake amount. Unfortunately, wheat can be found in most sauces, including soy sauce. People who have celiac disease should avoid eating all of the above. Over time, celiacs who continue to eat gluten, will permanently damage their small intestine and their body's ability to absorb nutrients.

But no soy sauce in Korea?!

Yes, I know. It pains me it's so awful at times.

I've been pretty lazy at adhering to my gluten-free diet that I religiously followed while living in Boulder, Colorado. Boulder is after all, not only the mecca of yogis, academics, and 21st Century white Buddhist folk, but also the place where one can enjoy a fresh baked gluten-free muffin at coffee shops and dine at restaurants with 99% confidence the kitchen will provide a gluten-free menu.

And then there is Korea.

Sparkling as it may be, this is no Boulder. EVERYTHING has soy sauce on it, in it, or around it. I dare you to ask the ajumma at the Kimbop Heaven place down the street if she provides a gluten-free menu. (11 months ago I was naive enough to try.)

So here we are, one year into my adult Korean life. So far, I've indulged myself with eating everything and anything I want. I've been telling myself that my Korean body and soul needs to make up for lost time and taste the ins and outs of dishes from my motherland. I haven't lived here since I was two, you know. I've had an obligation to balance out all the Midwestern food my Irish-American mother fed me as a child, before I had ever heard of quinoa or knew what edamame was. Iceberg lettuce? Nutritious! Faygo pop to wash down that Hamburger Helper? Cheap and convenient!


But I can no longer button my pants. And I come home from school everyday with a stomachache because I'm too stubborn to buy a new pair of pants that actually fit.

Thus, I am turning over a new leaf this year in Korea and am really trying my best to avoid those harmful gluten proteins that strike me with fatigue and make naps after work, instead of a trip to the gym, so damn appealing.

So I thought I'd share my gluten-free insights.

Rule #1. Do not, under any circumstances limit your food intake. This gluten-free plan is aimed at providing you with tips to free up energy to exercise and burn calories, not sacrifice the joy of eating food plentifully and like a mad glutton, no pun intended.

Rule #2: Always have a gluten-free snack packed in your bag or at work in case you are a.) bored b.) hungry c.) both. I like to keep a Ziploc bag full of almonds, raisins, and peanuts at my desk.

Rule #3: Learn this simple Korean phrase.

Ego mil hago kanjang dul uht sayo?

It means, "Does this have wheat or soy sauce in it?"
If you get a nod, then yes it does. If you get two forearms in front of the body that resemble a shape of an "X", then no.

(This is okay to try at restaurants if the staff look nice and friendly. If they hate you, like my local ajumma hates me, don't attempt. Ignore, and skip to Rule #4.)

Rule #4: Eat out as little as possible. I hate to say it, but people sometimes lie here, or are pitifully unaware of ingredient content and food allergies. (More likely, perhaps, just not obsessed like us Americans with food labeling, or ridiculously immunized to the point they no longer have good bacteria in their gut to keep them healthy. But I digress.) Many times, I've asked if a dish has wheat or soy sauce in it and been told no. The next day when I wake up feeling miserable, I angrily curse the waitstaff and gluten gods. If you must dine out, follow Rule #5.

Rule #5: Make friends with a Korean-Korean, a gypo (Korean-American, Korean-Canadian, Korean-Australian, etc.), or a non-Korean male (or female) who's pervy enthusiasm for Korean women has translated into a zest to learn the Korean language better than you. Have them order at restaurants and ask what the ingredients are, inquire about the kimchi that isn't quite the same color as usual, or the galbi that may or may not be marinated with soy sauce, and can introduce you to "safe" Korean dishes. Use them as a free language tutor to teach you more food related Korean phrases you can use when inquiring about a new food. (I also strongly encourage you to take a language class at a university yourself. My first three months in Korea I studied at Ewha Women's University near Hongdae. However, I graduated with the ability to tell everyone that I was an American person, and that I taught English, but still lacked those magic phrases that allowed me to be gluten-free.)

Rule #6: Get a membership to Costco. Yay, Costco! Feta cheese, kidney beans, smoked salmon, cheese, cheese, and more cheese. (Although cheese has minute amounts of gluten, some gluten-intolerant people can handle a small amount, while others can not. Being solely gluten-intolerant is slightly different than having celiac disease. You are in charge of knowing what's a safe amount for your body.)

Rule #7: Don't let your local grocery store intimidate you. It took me about six months living here before I started grocery shopping. The place scared me. Perhaps it was the Kpop music blaring over the Gmart speakers, or the ajoshi announcing the daily sales into his mic, I don't know. However, once I summoned up the courage to give it a go, I was encouraged to see all the gluten-free goodies I didn't expect to find: peanut butter, chocolate, strawberry yogurt, jam, baked beans, rice noodles, you name it. Have fun with it. Get creative.

Rule #7: If you're feeling particularly confident a given week, check out your nearest outdoor market. The market by my school always has a plethora of fresh fruits and vegetables during the appropriate seasons, not to mention, sold at a better price than most grocery stores. And remember, buying vegetables whole, rather than chopped and prepared, insures they are without soy sauce.

Rule #8: Prepare some gluten-free dishes during your quiet Sunday night at home before your busy work week. Invest in some Tupperware, (or some Pyrex look-alike if you're paranoid of plastic toxins seeping into your food) and prepare, prepare, prepare. You'll be pleasantly surprised Tuesday night, when you're tired and starving, that a tuna salad with onion, or perhaps some grilled chicken, with sauteed tomato and garlic, eagerly awaits you.

Rule #9: This is an obvious one, but one we so often ignore. Lay off the Cass and Hite, even on the weekends. Beer is the devil. Liquified wheat enters the bloodstream and your body faster than solid wheat does, resulting in complete and immediate toxification of your body. Not fun for your next day's early morning run along the Han River. Trust me on this one.

Rule #10: Don't give up! I know it's hard. But I've learned to think of being able to feel energetic and healthy, just by eliminating something in my diet, as a blessing rather than a curse. Six years ago, before I discovered I was gluten intolerant, I thought I was forever doomed to constant fatigue and vague muscle and joint aches, and had a looming suspicion that I was headed down Hypochondria Lane. Empower yourself! Buy those groceries! Learn that Korean phrase to communicate your situation. And if you're really feeling discouraged with all the mystery food and loud Kpop music, contact me. I'll be more than happy to be your gluten-free cheerleader for the day.


Stay tuned for more gluten-free recipes and tips, that take you from your Monday morning breakfast, to your Saturday evening out on the town.